Assign Purpose to Your Pain


Sometimes life takes unexpected twists and turns and leaves your heart on the floor. It doesn’t (or hasn’t) turned out quite like you thought it would. In one major area of my life, that’s the case. My husband and I desire to have children, but it hasn’t happened like we thought it would. There are so many others struggling with the same thing, and it seems that no one really wants to talk about it until AFTER they actually have kids. So, here I am today. Laying my heart out there. It hurts. It sometimes can be a gnawing pain deep down. It pops-up at the most unexpected times. And that’s okay. It’s okay not to be okay all the time. God sees the hurt, and He gives the strength to face each and every day.

Chances are, you too, are struggling with pain. A loved one with cancer with little hope for the future. The sudden loss of a spouse after years of marriage. The longing for someone to share life with. The list could go on and on. God loves you and wants what is best for you. Even so, we live in a fallen world. Bad stuff happens to good people. God doesn’t cause it, but He does say that He’ll never leave us or abandon us. He’ll walk through the pain WITH us.

God doesn’t want us to wallow in self-pity about it. Instead, He would rather us assign purpose to our pain. God works all things, including our pain, to the good for those that love Him.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

My husband and I may not have children, but we do have wonderful nieces and nephews, amazing friends with children, and some pretty cool students in our youth group. We’ve chosen to assign purpose to our pain by being godly adult influences in the lives of these children. We’re demonstrating love to them by being there for them, going to their school or outside activities, spending time with them, giving them gifts, teaching them about God, and speaking life-giving encouragement to them.

So, what Satan meant for destruction, we are allowing God to use for good. It says in Genesis 50:20,

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”

We have assigned purpose for our pain and are walking out the call of God on our lives as a result. We pray and believe many young people will find Christ and lead others to Him because of our surrendered lives. What pain in your life can you assign purpose to and impact lives for eternity?


  1. I’m so glad that when it feels like the pain of life can crush us God does our heavy lifting. Great perspective, and well-written thanks for sharing truth from the heart.

    So thankful for you guys,
    Pat Sims


  2. Thank you for sharing so openly the struggle you face. Another friend of mine had the same longing unfulfilled and when we talked I told her that the position God has allowed her to have in the courts has been powerful in protecting children and redirecting families gone awry. Her longing and love for children was used in ways that she may not have been able to otherwise.

    God builds families in many ways. The longing in your heart is given by God for a purpose, not always the way we think it should be fulfilled. Love the message you shared from your heart and the assurance you also share that God has your, our best interest at heart.

    Love you!!!


  3. Very uplifting words of assurance that God will always make ways in unexpected circumstances. Thank you for sharing.God bless.


  4. Thanks for sharing. I was exactly feeling the same thing and just last week I was praying to the Lord to speak to me for comfort. Last night when I read what you shared I was comforted. Praise the Lord!


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